A Christmas Story

I suffered through the worst travel experience ever over the X-mas break. Our flight leg from Cleveland to Madison was cancelled at 4:30pm on X-mas eve, leaving us stranded at the airport along with thousands of other. We had been waiting in airports since 5:30 am in the morning. It was a nightmare. We didn't arrive in Platteville until 1:00pm the next day, after more than 36 hours of travel. I must also say Continental's customer service sucked.

On the upside, it was fantastic to see Grandma Betty and Uncle Richard. Going to the farm is always so relaxing and there are so many memories there of swimming in the pond, playing in the fort we built under the ramp up to the big barn, playing in Grandma's upstairs living room, and eating her Creme de Menthe cookies. I got a guitar from my parents which is awesome and I can't wait to really start practicing and get good. The downside is I have been having trouble sleeping and I have lots of anxiety associated with that. Aggghh. All in all, it was a great X-mas because I was with family. Now it's back to work. I feel a fresh sense of renewal lately.
I'll lose this 10 pounds that hasn't budged since Faith was born!
I'll start my own business and be my own boss!
I'll become a great guitar player and join a band!
I'll get rid of insomnia!

Anything is possible.

Capitalist

I want to open my own business. Be my own boss. Work my own hours. When I read about the CEO of Starbucks who went to Italy in the mid-eighties and was impressed by the Italian coffee shops that fostered a spirit of community and conversation, I get misty eyed. (Not that Starbucks exemplifies those things in my mind today, but rather the spirit, determination, and vision it takes to leap into the unknown and start something you can call your own.) Then I ask, what could I do? I have no money. No start up cash. No brilliant ideas. What's driving this is the boredom I face sitting behind a desk day after day. I have a good job. It's interesting, worthwhile, inspiring even at times. But always in the back of my mind is this idea that I want to run off this beaten path that I'm on. I'm headed towards more kids, a mortgage, vacations twice a year, the works. And those are my goals, except that I also want something fabulously different. Give me ideas my friends!

I'm back

I'm back! I've missed my blog for the last month or so. I think its appropriate to to re-start writing and journaling as I feel like I'm trying to make a fresh start. I have so many topics I could write about--my visist to a psychiatric ward, taking two weeks off from work, Thanksgiving, my sudden yearning to become very crafty--I want to learn how to knit, make quilts, do beautiful embroidary, make braided rugs, and possibly paint, my friend Courtney's announcement that she is going to have a baby, and my new found desire to become a doctor or nurse. Hah.

I want to reflect on Thanksgiving for a moment and the things I'm thankful for this year.

1) Faith (my daughter)
2) Faith (that things will be OK)
3) a loving and supportive spouse
4) my health
5) my amazingly great family & friends
6) slowly improving finances
7) a good job

Already the Christmas rush is upon me--I feel like I should be shopping and baking and playing Christmas music. I love this time of the year, and I want to relish it. The past couple of years it's become less festive, and I want to really participate this year in X-mas carols, X-mas parties,etc. I am trying to get re-connected with the person I am. I look at all the things I did as a kid and teenager. I wrote to pen-pals non stop from all over the world, I read as much about travel as I possibly could, and ran long distance competitevly and at leisure, and all of those things made me really HAPPY. I don't do any of them now, and I wonder why. Do we lose parts of our personality as become older, or is it a gradual decline that occurs as jobs and relationships, and now kids become part of the equation. I am going to really try to start running again and to start writing to pen-pals. I'll give updates on how it goes.

EH